torn yet thankful...

Ive tried to put aside the "why" questions because I knew I won't have all the answers right now. It's also painful to think of the possiblilities for the seeming hatred I'm receiving from those I cared so much for. I just want to focus on clearing my name. But I'm told I need to think about some of the "whys" as this may help unravel some reasons why all this has happened. I don't want to think about the possibility of people having their hidden or malicious intentions, especially when they are people I trusted and cared for. But to clear my name, I'm told it's something I have to do...sigh...

I'm thankful and encouraged by the few who turned up to meet me because they cared. They didn't have to but wanted to see what they could do to help me and to help serve the truth. Your willingness to come forward and meet with me has given much strength when my heart was torn.

I wake up this morning to recieve an email from a former student. You must have found out what was happening from a common friend. I'm so surprised to hear from you but you wouldn't know how timely it came. Your kind words of thanks and appreciation for the little I had done for you in the past had brought sudden tears to my eyes. You understood why I would go the distance with you or any student, and didn't think ill of my intentions.

I had been avoiding the thought of how this episode would change me and impact my life. At the back of my mind are the words of well-meaning family and friends who have told me to think more about myself. "Is your giving worth the pain right now?" "You have to draw your lines clearly" "People don't always appreciate and think well of your kindness" Your simple email, ending with "your student, your friend" has made me feel less of a fool in all this. Thank you, friend.