Between hate and love...

The 1st time in my life I feel so loved and yet so hated, both at the same time. Hated perhaps by those who are accusing me and so loved by the ones who believe in my innocence and who are standing with me at my time of crisis. I feel torn between love and hate at the present moment.

I'm told by many to sue my accusers once my name is cleared. It's not just for yourself but for those who may yet be wrongly and easily accused in the future, I'm told. But that's not the kind of closure and resolution I desire. I'm still hoping that wrong percerptions can be corrected and the misunderstandings cleared. If I truly cared for my students and their families, how can I not wish for healing and reconcilation as a conclusion for this nightmare. I'm told I should pursue the case and work for reconcilation afterwards...that I should think only of myself right now.
Even until right now, I do feel that there may not be malice in at least some of my accusers, especially in the boys. The situation may just have been triggered by a parent who had a distorted perspective of things. and it probably just slowly got a life of its own. The students may not have meant me any harm. I trust them alot and felt that they trusted me too. They had expressed it in many ways in the past, both by their words and their actions.

Lord, even as I strive to clear my name, please don't allow further hurt to come upon those who have already been affected by all that has happened. The young, especially, often do not know what they are doing.