Ding's Blog

In Christ Alone

2007-04-11T00:21:00.000+08:00

Verse 1:
In Christ alone my hope is found
He is my light, my strength, my song
This cornerstone, this solid ground
Firm through the fiercest drought and storm

What heights of love, what depths of peace
When fears are stilled, when strivings cease
My comforter, my all in all
Here in the love of Christ I stand.

Verse 2:
In Christ alone, who took on flesh
Fullness of God in helpless Babe
This gift if love and righteousness
Scorned by the ones He came to save

'Til on the cross as Jesus died
The wrath of God was satisfied
For ev'ry sin on Him was laid
Here in the death of Christ I live

Verse 3:
There in the ground His body lay
Light of the world by darkness slain
Then, bursting forth in glorious day
Up from the grave He rose again

And as He stands in victory
Sin's curse has lost it's grip on me
For I am His and He is mine
Bought with the precious blood of Christ

Verse 4:
No guilt in life, no fear in death
This is power of Christ in me
From life's first cry to final breath
Jesus commands my destiny

No pow'r of hell, no scheme of man
Can ever pluck me from His hand
'Til He returns or calls me home
Here in the pow'r of Christ I'll stand

(Song by Newsboys)

Through God We Will Do Valiantly...

2007-03-17T10:34:00.000+08:00

Psalm 118
Thanksgiving for the LORD'S Saving Goodness.

1Give thanks to the LORD, for He is good;
For His lovingkindness is everlasting.
2Oh let Israel say,
"His lovingkindness is everlasting."
3Oh let the house of Aaron say,
"His lovingkindness is everlasting."
4Oh let those who [a]fear the LORD say,
"His lovingkindness is everlasting."
5From my distress I called upon the LORD;
The LORD answered me and set me in a large place.
6The LORD is for me; I will not fear;
What can man do to me?
7The LORD is for me among those who help me;
Therefore I will look with satisfaction on those who hate me.
8It is better to take refuge in the LORD
Than to trust in man.
9It is better to take refuge in the LORD
Than to trust in princes.
10All nations surrounded me;
In the name of the LORD I will surely cut them off.
11They surrounded me, yes, they surrounded me;
In the name of the LORD I will surely cut them off.
12They surrounded me like bees;
They were extinguished as a fire of thorns;
In the name of the LORD I will surely cut them off.
13You pushed me violently so that I was falling,
But the LORD helped me.
14The LORD is my strength and song,
And He has become my salvation.
15The sound of joyful shouting and salvation is in the tents of the righteous;
The right hand of the LORD does valiantly.
16The right hand of the LORD is exalted;
The right hand of the LORD does valiantly.
17I will not die, but live,
And tell of the works of the LORD.
18The LORD has disciplined me severely,
But He has not given me over to death.
19Open to me the gates of righteousness;
I shall enter through them, I shall give thanks to the LORD.
20This is the gate of the LORD;
The righteous will enter through it.
21I shall give thanks to You, for You have answered me,
And You have become my salvation.
22The stone which the builders rejected
Has become the chief corner stone.
23This is the LORD'S doing;
It is marvelous in our eyes.
24This is the day which the LORD has made;
Let us rejoice and be glad in it.
25O LORD, do save, we beseech You;
O LORD, we beseech You, do send prosperity!
26Blessed is the one who comes in the name of the LORD;
We have blessed you from the house of the LORD.
27The LORD is God, and He has given us light;
Bind the festival sacrifice with cords to the horns of the altar.
28You are my God, and I give thanks to You;
You are my God, I extol You.
29Give thanks to the LORD, for He is good;
For His lovingkindness is everlasting.

New American Standard Bible (NASB)
Copyright © 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation

All the way my Savior leads me...

2006-08-06T20:54:00.000+08:00

All the way my Savior leads me;
What have I to ask beside?
Can I doubt His tender mercy,
Who through life has been my Guide?
Heav’nly peace, divinest comfort,
Here by faith in Him to dwell!
For I know, whate’er befall me,
Jesus doeth all things well;
For I know, whate’er befall me,
Jesus doeth all things well.

All the way my Savior leads me,
Cheers each winding path I tread;
Gives me grace for every trial,
Feeds me with the living Bread.
Though my weary steps may falter,
And my soul athirst may be,
Gushing from the Rock before me,
Lo! A spring of joy I see;
Gushing from the Rock before me,
Lo! A spring of joy I see.

All the way my Savior leads me
O the fullness of His love!
Perfect rest to me is promised
In my Father’s house above.
When my spirit, clothed immortal,
Wings its flight to realms of day
This my song through endless ages—
Jesus led me all the way;
This my song through endless ages—
Jesus led me all the way.

God has never let me down throughout my life's journey and I know that He will not disappoint me now. Though the struggle is strong and tiresome, and the journey long and dreary, Christ is my Guide and thus I will overcome & I will complete this race.
I will put my trust in Him and surrender to Him my all.

HOPE - Holding On, Praying Expectantly

2006-06-24T22:45:00.000+08:00

The following is an extract from John Maxwell's "Think on these Things - Meditation for leaders".

Many men and women become bitter toward life because of the unfortunate circumstances in which they find themselves. Many quit. Others have taken their own lives. What makes a difference in the outcome? Talent? No! The only difference between those who threw in the towel and quit and those who used their energy to rebuild and kept going is found in the word "hope".

What does hope do for humanity?

Hope shines brightest when the hour is darkest.
Hope motivates when discouragement comes.
Hope energizez when the body is tired.
Hope sweetens while the bitterness bites.
Hope sings when all melodies are gone.
Hope believes when the evidence is eliminated.
Hope listens for answers when no one is talking.
Hope climbs over obstacles when no one is helping.
Hope endures hardship when no one is caring.
Hope smiles confidently when no one is laughing.
Hope reaches for answers when no one is asking.
Hope presses toward victory when no one is encouraging.
Hope dares to give when no one is sharing.
Hope brings the victory when no one is winning.

There's nothing to do but bury a person when his or her hopes are gone. Losing hope usually precedes loss of life itself. You don't need a better environment - you just need more hope. It's the one thing in your life you can't do without!

My prayer for myself and for you my friends, is that no matter the size of the hope that is within us at this moment of our lives, God will cause it to grow instead of becoming diminished.

God's limitless love, grace and power...

2006-06-11T22:03:00.000+08:00

He Giveth More Grace

He giveth more grace when the burdens grow greater;
He sendeth more strength when the labors increase.
To added affliction He added His mercy;
To multiplied trials, His multiplied peace.

When we have exhausted our store of endurance,
When our strength has failed ere the day is half done,
When we reach the end of our hoarded resources,
Our Father's full giving is only begun.

Refrain:
His love has no limit;
His grace has no measure.
His power has no boundary known unto men.
For out of His infinite riches in Jesus,
He giveth, and giveth, and giveth again!

We all face our individual and perhaps unique challenges in life. During such times, we may often feel downcast, depressed or even disllusioned. Often our burdens are too much for us to carry alone. Often times, even friends may not be able to share that load with us. In moments like these, may we be reminded of and assured by God's great love, grace and power. God will meet us at our point of need. May He give us eyes to see His loving and giving hands.

An update...

2006-03-31T16:11:00.000+08:00

It's been 11 months since all this madness began last year and I must thank all of you for your unfailing concern, support and prayers. Thanks for the smses, phone calls, emails and home visits... I especially appreciate the many who have met up with me and my lawyers in recent months, to provide facts which may be useful as evidence in my defense. It's even harder for some of you who are students and by providing evidence in my defense, you may risk adversely affecting some of your friendships. Respect for your moral courage. It is neither my intent to damage relationships nor to hurt anyone in the process of clearing my name. Thanks for standing up for what you consider to be the good and right thing to do.

The process of trial preparation and the entire experience has been draining for me and my loved ones. But God has been gracious and He has answered your prayers for me in a multitude of ways. He has given me the inner peace and strength I need, and also the practical assistance I need in the case. God has also upheld my health and there has not been any recurrence of my heart condition since the operation in November last year. Praise God that despite the challenges, we've been making much progress in our defense preparations.

The trial begins on 10 April with the prosecution stating its case with the accusers and their witnesses. They are estimated to take about 3 weeks, after which, the defense will begin our case. The entire trial will take about 6 weeks.

During the trial I'll be providing some updates (without compromising the process) for all of you who care, thus helping you to pray along with us. It may not be appropriate to post these updates on this blog so I'll be sending out email updates instead. If you wish to receive these updates, please send me an email request (at dingatacs@hotmail.com) with your name and contact no. (for verification purposes).

I will only post general updates, prayer requests or devotionals on this blog for the time being.

seeing differently - perspectives and priorities

2006-01-30T09:35:00.000+08:00

"...earth, if chosen instead of heaven, will turn out to have been, all along, only a region in hell: and earth, if put second to Heaven, to have been from the beginning a part of Heaven itself." ("The Business of Heaven" by C.S. Lewis)

What is secular and what is godly? It may not depend on what we have or want but how we view and value it. Our choices themselves may determine the true worth of something in heavenly terms. Let us choose wisely...

19"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. 20But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. - Matthew 6:18-20

divine coincidences...

2005-12-16T14:46:00.000+08:00

On the first court hearing last week, I was waiting alone for my lawyer at the lobby area outside their office when I heard a few lines of a song that goes something like..."you lift me by my hands...to higher ground". If you can recall my blog entry on Tuesday, October 11, 2005, you can see the "coincidence". I see this as another of God's grace for the moment.

Yesterday, I was early for our 1st pre-trial conference and decided to have some coffee at one of the cafes across from the courthouse. As I sat there, I was drawn to the cafe's signboard. The cafe was probably owned by a Christian as written on it was the verse Deuteronomy 8: 3 - "He humbled you, causing you to hunger and then feeding you with manna, which neither you nor your fathers had known, to teach you that man does not live on bread alone but on every word that comes from the mouth of the LORD." When we've been humbled and deprived, we learn to appreciate the simple but divine. Another of God's "little graces"?

God is good!!

Jesus - The Reason for the Season

2005-12-14T08:21:00.000+08:00

Christmas is here again. This year, more than many others before, I'm pondering on the reason for the celebrations - the coming of Christ Jesus. Jesus has been given completely to us and it is for each one of us to receive this gift and to make Him, our All in ALL. The choice is ours and our world changes upon that choice. I wish you Jesus because in Him is everything that is good.

Jesus - Lover of my soul
In the midst of the storm,
Keep my soul safe in the hollow of your hand.
Deliver, comfort, heal, purify, and lead me towards eternity.

Jesus - Guardian of my mind
Renew my mind and transform me from within,
That I may know Your good , pleasing and perfect will.
Fill me, Spirit that I may know the mind of Christ,
And that my mind be set only on heavenly things.

Jesus - Lord of my heart
Create in me a new and pure heart,
One which is after Your own.
Tune my heart that it may sing of Your abundant grace,
And that my will and ways may become one with Yours.

the foundation of our hope...

2005-11-26T11:19:00.000+08:00

The lyrics of this hymn has been on my mind recently and I would like to share it with all of you, especially to those of you who may feel that your world is caving in.

My Hope Is Built

My hope is built on nothing less
Than Jesus’ blood and righteousness.
I dare not trust the sweetest frame,
But wholly trust in Jesus’ Name.

Refrain
On Christ the solid Rock I stand,
All other ground is sinking sand;
All other ground is sinking sand.

When darkness seems to hide His face,
I rest on His unchanging grace.
In every high and stormy gale,
My anchor holds within the veil.

Refrain

His oath, His covenant, His blood,
Support me in the whelming flood.
When all around my soul gives way,
He then is all my Hope and Stay.

Refrain

When He shall come with trumpet sound,
Oh may I then in Him be found.
Dressed in His righteousness alone,
Faultless to stand before the throne.

Refrain

You may also like to listen this hymn at:
http://www.cyberhymnal.org/htm/m/y/myhopeis.htm

thanks for praying...

2005-11-25T11:47:00.000+08:00

I went for a surgical procedure for my heart condition last Monday and returned home over the weekend. Thanks for those of you who knew and prayed for me! I'm recovering well at home. Do hope that God-willing, this be the final time I have to go for surgery. Please continue to pray for my parents as both the case and my health have added much stress on them. Despite what's happening, may they still see the grace and glory of God upon my life.

come what may...

2005-11-02T17:01:00.000+08:00

Whatever comes and whatever befalls us in life, we have to learn to accept them, as from and for the good Lord. Some things are easy and gladsome to receive but some we would hesitate or loathe to accept, but we need to trust in the goodwill of the Giver. We're no fools to surrender all to the will of God for He is faithful and just, and He will look after His own, in His own way.

our whole life as a living sacrifice...

2005-10-27T14:14:00.000+08:00

One of my favorite worship songs was sang at church service last Sunday. When I led chapel services, I would often choose this piece as a closing song just before the benediction. It reminds us Christians that ALL of our lives - the upds and the downs, joys and the pains, the honor and the shame, the past and the future - should be offered unto the Lord, for His glory.

I Offer My Life (Don Moen)

All that I am, all that I have
I lay them down before you, O Lord
All my regrets, all my acclaims
The joy and the pain, I'm making them Yours

Lord, I offer my life to You
Everything I've been through
Use it for your Glory
Lord I offer my days to You
Lifting my praise to You as a pleasing sacrifice
Lord I offer you my life

Things in the past, things yet unseen
Wishes and dreams that are yet to come true
All of my hopes, all of my plans
My heart and my hands are lifted to you

What can we give that You have not given
What do we have that is not already yours
All we possess are these lives we're living
And that's what we give to you Lord

each chasing our illusive dreams?

2005-10-22T11:44:00.000+08:00

I recall the lyrics of this song that I remember well from my secondary school days. They bring back good memories, gentle reminders and fresh inspiration for today.

An Illusive Dream (Words and Music by Jimmy Owens)

Where might you be going this fine day my friend?
Off along an aimless road that soon must end,
Chasing an illusive dream that shines so fair
But when found isn't there.

I can understand your weary sigh, my friend.
There but for the grace of God go I, my friend.
Come and let him lead you to your journey's end,
Oh come along and walk with him.

Where might you be going this fine day my friend?
Off along an aimless road that soon must end,
Chasing an illusive dream that shines so fair
But when found isn't there.

If without the grace of God your life should end,
And before the face of God you'd stand, my friend.
What would your illusive dream avail you then?
So come along and walk with him.

In our roles as students, professionals, parents and family members, we often find ourselves in a maddening race. In minute moments of quiet or sudden disruption, we may sense that we're "grasping at the air" or "running on empty". My friend, if you find these feelings much like your own, do take a moment now and seek for a new paradigm & renewed center for your life.

the sharing of a dream...

2005-10-11T08:31:00.000+08:00

A colleague and friend called to share about a dream she had recently. She said she seldom have dreams and forgets them even if she has any. The first time she had this particular dream was about a month ago and didn't share it with me until the same dream recurred a few days ago. Then, she felt compelled to share it with me. In this dream she saw me and waved at me from a distance. She saw me smiling pleasantly and remembers asking me how I was and that I replied that God had put me on "higher ground" than I was before.

I must thank her for sharing her dream with me despite anticipating the response she might had gotten from me. She's a godly woman and though I cannot fully understand the dream now, it has reassured me that despite feeling I'm in the pits right now, God has a higher purpose for me.

I want to thank her and all of you who have continuously supported me through this long and often tiresome journey.

praying for the school...

2005-09-28T12:04:00.000+08:00

Being away for this long period of time allows me to look at the life of the school from a different perspective.

It pains me to see how "insiders" pit themselves against each other (perhaps unknowingly - teachers against teachers, parents against teachers, students against teachers, ...) rather than to take up arms together to fight against those who dare challenge the advancement of God's work in and through the school. We fight not only against our own human condition (pride, prejudice, envy greed, ...) but more so against the principalities of this world. The evil is pleased when we Christians battle against one another rather than rally united under God's banner of truth. The devil and his "partners" are happy when our beacon of truth and light is diminished and we fail to uphold our witness to God's mercy and grace.

If we fret and sigh over the state of things in school (and even our society), have we done anything positive and constructive rather than ruminate and gripe? Where is our faith? Even small faith in our Faithful God will result in greatness. How will God come and heal our land (and our school) if we His people will not humble ourselves together and seek after Him. Do we honestly think that just by our great efforts and work (individual as well as corporate) we can move the Hand of God to advance the mission of the school?

I'm not writing all this from a "higher-than-thou" position as I know full well my own failings. But the Lord has provided me a "vantage point" through my time of "forced exile". May God speak to you as I share with you what burdens He had placed on me and the lessons I am learning myself.

I may be away from the school, but my heart is with all of you who continue to "fight the good fight" in the Lord's name there. I will be united with all of you in the great enterprise of prayer.

the greatest act of love...is forgiveness...

2005-09-18T16:02:00.000+08:00

To honor our parents - sure can do
To care for our friends - no problem
To love our neigbours - okay lah
To not hate our enemies - should do and can do lor
To love our enemies - hard to do, but need to do

It is indeed much easier to care and to bless those we love, and those who love us. It is a greater challenge to 'not hate' our enemies but rather "forget" about them. But the call to Christian discpleship is to LOVE our enemies and to bless them.

How can that be? We ask, "do they DESERVE it"?

We who were yet sinners when we received the love of God through grace should never ask this question rhetorically. The same grace which redeemed us is the same one that is extended to even those we call our enemies. Having received this grace, how can we so easily deny it from those who need it as much as we do.

Salvation comes so 'cheaply' to us - it really comes "free" to us. But it cost God SO much. Christ's sacrifice and death was offered up for ALL who would would believe and accept His grace.

As we learn to appreciate that grace which was extended to us, we need to not only 'not hate' our enemies but to take active steps to love and bless them. Perhaps when we can do this, then we can truly experience the freedom and joy we have in Christ.

As God has shown us through Christ, the greatest act of love is forgiveness. May the Lord help us in our weaknesses.

just wait..

2005-09-08T13:02:00.000+08:00

This is a poem that I came across recently. I find that many of the writer's thoughts and emotions resonates with mine.

Wait and You Will See Him

Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried:
Quietly, patiently, lovingly God replied.
I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate,
And the Master so gently said, "Child, you must wait."

"WAIT? You say 'wait'," my indignant reply.
"Lord, I need answers. I need to know why!
Is Your hand shortened? Or have You not heard?
By faith I have asked and am claiming Your Word.

My future and all to which I can relate
Hangs in the balance, and YOU tell me 'Wait'?
B I'm needing a 'yes', a go-ahead sign,
Or even a 'no' to which I can resign.

And, Lord, You promised that if we believe
We need but to ask, and we shall receive.
And, Lord, I've been asking! I need a reply!"
"Lord, I need answers. I need to know why!

Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate
As my Master replied once again, "You must wait".
So I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut,
And grumbled to God, "So I'm waiting....for what?"

He seemed, then, to kneel, and His eyes wept with mine,
And He tenderly said, "I could give you a sign.
I could shake the heavens and darken the sun.
I could raise the dead, cause the mountains to run.

All you seek, I could give, and pleased you would be.
You would have what you want...but you wouldn't know Me.
You'd not know the depth of my love for each saint;
You'd not know the power that I give to the faint;

You'd not learn to see through clouds of despair;
You'd not learn to trust just by knowing I'm there;
You'd not know the joy of resting in Me
When darkness and silence were all you could see.

You'd never experience the fullness of love
As the peace of My Spirit descends like a dove;
You'd know that I give and I save (for a start),
But you'd not know the depth of the beat of My heart,

The glow of My comfort late in the night,
The faith that I give when you walk without sight,
The depth that's beyond getting just what you asked
Of an infinite God, who makes what you have last.

You'd never know, should your pain quickly flee,
What it means that "My grace is sufficient for thee".
Yes, your dearest dreams overnight would come true,
But, Oh, the loss! if I lost what I am doing in you!

So be silent, My child, and in time you will see
That the greatest of gifts is to get to know Me.
And though oft may My answers seem terribly late,
My most precious answer of all is still, "WAIT".

This poem written was by a missionary after a 2-month illness. The author wishes to remain anonymous in order that God get all the glory, as he says it was God who gave it to him.

small faith in a big God...

2005-09-03T10:29:00.000+08:00

Recently I was re-forwarded an sms that I sent to a friend some time back. It's truly a timely reminder for me especially when times are trying or even painful.

"Birth pangs must naturally be forgotten quickly when the Lord ushers in His glory into our midst. Let's wait in anticipation..."

I'm reminded of the pain that mothers have when they are delivering their babies. The joys of childbirth must be so great, that many choose to have another child though they now know the true extent of the pain they have to endure.

God is sovereign! Despite all the confusion, He will make all things beautiful in His time and in His way. I need to see all the pain in the light of God's glorious plan and as the precursor to His deliverance.

I will strive to hold on to my small faith in a Faithful God and not lose sight of my Hope in Christ. Thanks again for all your support and prayers!

Romans 8:18-27
18I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. 19The creation waits in eager expectation for the sons of God to be revealed. 20For the creation was subjected to frustration, not by its own choice, but by the will of the one who subjected it, in hope 21that[i] the creation itself will be liberated from its bondage to decay and brought into the glorious freedom of the children of God.
22We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. 23Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. 24For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already has? 25But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.
26In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. 27And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will.

overwhelming emotions..

2005-08-25T00:41:00.000+08:00

I'm getting so many reminders that Teachers' Day is just around the corner and they just seem to throw knives at my heart. At a time where a teacher would want to be reminded that he or she is appreciated, I feel totally rotten. In fact, I don't even feel that I'm a teacher anymore. Helping out some classes at another school further reminds me that I'm not doing what I'm suppose to be doing - teaching.

I've always wanted to be strong but I truly feel so weak right now. Maybe it's the long wait that's draining me. Or perhaps it's just that God wants me to really get into the pain so that I can truly understand what He wants me to understand. Please pray for me as I work through these strong emotions that I'm feeling hard to manage. May my weakness be made strong in His strength.

responding to crisis

2005-08-15T10:50:00.000+08:00

One of the books that I'm currently reading is "Thriving Through Crisis" by Bill O'Hanlon. He shared about some people's positive responses to crisis. Let me share the experiences of one prominent person whom we may all remember.

This person is movie producer, Steven Spielberg. In an interview, Spielberg spoke about his parents' divorce and the devastating impact it had on him in his younger years. His mother was a piano teacher and his father was a computer technician. The interviewer asked Spielberg about a scene in his movie "Close Encounters of the Third Kind", in which humans and aliens make contact. At 1st they cannot work out how to communicate, then one of the scientists realizes that the aliens are transmitting four musical notes. The humans respond in kind and then the computers that are generating the musical notes take over and learn the other species' language. The interviewer again asked Spielberg if this was influenced by his parents' professions. At that moment, Spielberg realized for the 1st time, many years after he had made that movie, that he was trying to get his parents' alien cultures to connect metaphorically. He was following his wound into his art. After that, Spielberg admitted that he made most of his movies to exorcise many inner fears he had as a child. He was afraid of what was under the surface of the ocean that he couldn't see and he made "Jaws". He was upset and terrified about anti-Semitism and he made the Holocaust movie "Schindler's List" (he also later created a documentary project to preserve memories of Holocaust survivors).

The author of the book O'Hanlon wrote that our 'insides" give us two clear signals about what we're meant to do in this life. One which "blisses" (aimates and moves us emotionally) us out and another which "pisses" (righteous indignation or personal wounds) us off. He believes that these two signals help guide us into the right directions for work and other areas. He says that a crisis is often an opportunity to reconnect with these two deep messages and to heed them in ways that we have not done so previously.

O'hanlon goes on to write that if our traumas and crises lead us to connections within ourselves or to others, compassion for ourselves and others, or the desire to make a contribution to the world, they can be healing to ourselves and to the world.

I agree with him mostly, only that I also believe that times of crises often reconnects us with God in a deeper way. This connection with God will allow us to transform our pains into gains, for ourselves, for others and most importantly, for His Kingdom. May the Lord help us to all thrive in our times of crisis.

Book Link:
Thriving Through Crisis: Turn Tragedy and Trauma into Growth and Change

finding a new focus...

2005-08-08T09:15:00.000+08:00

Thank you all for praying unceasingly for me and for my family through this period of crisis! I know that hard as I try, there's a point where all human effort fails. Challenging as it is, let's rein in our impatience and continue to wait upon the Lord.

My NLP classes started this recent weekend and I've had a good start to the certification course. I'm glad that I'm learning together with a varied bunch of pleasant and positive individuals. The intructor is committed to the subject and excited about sharing his knowledge and experience with us. As teaching and working had been such a great part of my life, I had been feeling a sense of my self "fading away" since being "exiled". I needed to re-focus and to channel my energies constructively. I've directed some of my energies to reading devotional books and now, to learning about NLP. I've also signed up for a DISC certification course next month.

I believe that I need to make good use of the time even as I wait for God to reveal his plans for me.

many thanks...

2005-07-29T12:49:00.000+08:00

Sorry for the "long silence" these last two weeks. I want to thank each one of you who have persevered in your prayers for me and others affected by this situation. I've been thinking alot about the future and what I'll probably want to do when all this is over. Meanwhile, even as I wait for things to move, I've decided to spend my time and energy more constructively. I've been buying and reading some books, and will soon start a certification course in Neuro-Linguistic Programming. I hope I'll be able to apply some of the learning personally and that this learning can also open options in the future. I may also be taking a certification course in DISC, a Behavioral Analyst program and in MBTI. For those of you who know me well, you'll probably understand that I love to work and to be on-the-move all the time, and that I don't particularly enjoy being "in limbo" for a long stretch. Hopefully all this can give me a better focus as I wait for things to unfold.

Book Recommendations:

Please support Presbyterian High School Carnival!

2005-07-16T19:38:00.000+08:00

Just helping out a fellow mission school by publicizing their upcoming carnival.

Here are the details...
Theme: Harmony in Diversity
Date : Saturday, 23 July 2005
Time : 10.00am to 8.30pm
Place : PHS Campus
Nearest MRT Station: Yio Chu Kang
Aims :
to enhance racial harmony; to inculcate an appreciation of different cultures; and to raise at least $100,000 for the funding of site lease for PHS.

If you would like to purchase tickets, make tax-deductible donations or have some queries, do contact Miss Lem Chen Chen at 64543722 (Tel.) or lem_chen_chen@moe.edu.sg (Email).
Incidentally, the current Principal of PHS was the former Vice-principal at ACS(BR).

contentment & happiness...

2005-07-08T19:07:00.000+08:00

We often say...

that we don't have time to do what we want or should, but what about those who are in the final stages of cancer?
that we have to go to school each day, but do we think of those who have no school to go to because of poverty or war?
that our family never gets to go for holiday overseas like our neighbours, but aren't we glad just to have family close to us?
that have to drag our feet to work every morning, but how do the jobless live their days?
that we have to walk so much everyday, but have we thought of the boy who has celebral palsy?
that our peers have got their 1st million and we've problems paying our housing loans, but have we thought of those who have lost their homes because of natural calamities?
that our mums are always nagging at us, but what about the orphans who would be happy just to have a mum to call their own?
that our relatives have a 42" Plasma TV whilst we still have the 15 year-old 25" TV, but have we thought of the blind who would be happy just to be able to read the newspapers?
that we often have problems and that they are always so big, but how about those who are terminally ill and a cure can't be found?
that we have so little in life, but don't we have God and those who love and care for us?

Let us count our blessings and be thankful for what we have today!!

suffering and faith...

2005-07-02T15:13:00.000+08:00

In his book "In the Eye of the Storm", Max Lucado says this about suffering and faith...

A season of suffering is a small price to pay for a clear view of God.

Faith is not born at the negotiating table where we barter our gifts in exchange for God's goodness. Faith is not an award given to the most learned. It's not a prize given to the most disciplined. It's not a title bequeathed to the most religious.

Faith is a desperate dive out of the sinking boat of human effort and a prayer that God will be there to pull us out of the water.

During this testing period, I come to a point where I realise where human efforts end and God's grace begins. Most of our lives, when we work diligently and with good intent, we are often able to achieve our personal goals. But there are times where, hard as we try, we fail and fall flat on our faces. It's then that we learn that failure can often can be the beginning of faith.

seeing the unseen...

2005-06-26T23:38:00.000+08:00

The external may assail us and a storm buffets us from the outside but there can be peace within if we fix our sights and place our hope on that which is eternal. And if Christ so chooses, He may just walk towards us on the water to assure us that all is well, saying, "Take courage! It is I. Don't be afraid."

2 Corinthians 4:16-17
v16: Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.
v17: For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.
v18: So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

peace that surpasses human comprehension..

2005-06-22T21:59:00.000+08:00

Thanks for all your prayers and continued support!

Though the waiting has been long, God's grace has been sufficient still. I've had the time to reflect on these last eight years since I started my teaching career and to think about my future plans. Some of this process has been heartbreaking but I do recall the joys as well. Much of the joys came from the friendships forged and experiences shared with each of you. Though my "fire" for teaching has been somewhat quenched by what has happened, I don't regret the decision to teach. In fact, it's because of my teaching job that I've come to know many of you and have made some good friends for life. I also believe that our choices and experiences in life determine much of who we become. Without them, we could be much poorer for it.

May God grant us all His peace that passes all understanding...

life is fragile, handle with care...

2005-06-15T11:20:00.000+08:00

Last night I attended the wake service of one of my former students. This is the 3rd student that I know personally that has passed away in my 8 years of teaching. The 1st one died in a freak accident and the latter two both died from sudden onset of disease.

Such deaths and that of my good friend some years back always give me a "nudge" and remind me of the fraility of life. Every day we live as if there will always be a tomorrow and we will get to fulfill all our desired plans. We think... If we love God and do our best in everything, then all would be well and good. True? Often, things happen and cause our world to go topsy-turvy but nothing jolts (in fact, halts) our plans as much as death itself.

As I listened to the sharing at the wake last night, I noted the impact the dying and death of a loved one had on the priorities and directions of the dying and those who walked with him. The strengthening of character. A friend going into missions work. A father attending church.

Must we wait for death to come close before we re-examine and re-aligned our lives? Can't we do this on a regular basis and ensure that we are living according to God's will? I speak for myself as I say that we often come to a comfortable state of living that we forget the need to constantly evaluate our priorities and commitments. Let's not wait for something to happen to "jolt" us to re-think our lives. Let's do it today because we do not know of tomorrow.

back online...

2005-06-14T18:48:00.000+08:00

Sorry for not updating this blog for the past week. I've only just managed to get online again today.

Last Thursday, I was giving my statement to the authorities from about 11am and reached home at about 10.30pm. The next day, I was back to complete the remainder of my statement from 3pm to about 6.30pm. Thanks for praying for me! I'm thankful for the opportunity to finally respond to the allegations made against me. Please continue to pray as the investigation proceeds.

Later this evening, I'll be going for a wake for one of my former students (1999) who passed away from brain cancer last Saturday. It must be so painful to lose someone close and someone yet so young. Do pray for his family and loved ones. Thanks.

finally...

2005-06-07T17:26:00.000+08:00

A while ago I got a call from the authorities asking me to report to them this Thursday at 11am to provide my statement. I'm thankful that I'll finally have a "voice" in all of this and be heard. Please pray that I'll not be nervous but that I'll have peace of mind, clarity of thought and the courage to speak the truth.

Thank you all for being my prayer warriors!

old friends...

2005-06-06T23:08:00.000+08:00

This morning I had a few "old friends" who visited my parents and myself at home. They are actually the parents of former waterpolo team members who had always been very supportive of what we do for the boys through the CCA. They came specially to encourage me and to strengthen my parents by sharing with them the pain and burdens as felt by fellow parents. I'm ever thankful for our shared experiences and memories because of their son's involvement in the team years back. Their sons have all grown and matured, and I'm gratified to know how well they are all developing. This is the fulfillment that satisfies me in this vocation. Lives touched and changed. We have impacted each other's lives and we have hence been enriched and transformed.

One waterpolo member was the 1st Sec 3 to genuinely come forward to express his concern for me today. I've refrained from contacting the Sec 3s since all this began. It is comforting to know that there is at least one who believes in me and have the courage to approach me to show his support. You've made my day...

communion...

2005-06-05T18:07:00.000+08:00

Today I celebrated the first holy communion in church since all this began. Sad perhaps, but it is during such trying times that God's imminence and Christ's redemptive sacrifice are more deeply valued. As I partook of the holy sacraments today, it was like receiving God's soothing balm onto my wounded soul.

Knowing that God "invites all who love Him and need Him to come to His table", I felt comforted by His acceptance and grace. "All we like sheep have gone astray, each of us turning our own separate ways. We all have sinned and fallen short of Your glory, but Your glory is what we desire to see, and in Your presence is where we long to be."

How marvelous and incomprehensible it is that sinners can actually enter to commune with the holy and righteous One! Furthermore, as we enter through Christ's redemptive act, we become saints, sanctified in Christ Jesus.

an update...

2005-06-03T07:42:00.000+08:00

There is some development finally. The waterpolo coaches have been called for an interview by the authorities this afternoon. Please pray for them as they give their statements. Pray for wisdom, clarity of mind, peace and courage to speak the truth. I believe that as they offer the facts clearly and accurately, these fascts themselves would speak in my favor.

With this development, I believe that I should be asked for my statement very soon. Do pray as I prepare myself to do this. As I told a colleague yesterday, I believe that God will deliver me, not because I'm faithful or perfect in myself, but because Christ has redeemed me and I belong to God.

Thank you all for supporting me with your prayers and expressions of concern over the last month. I thank God that I don't have to walk this path alone.

day by day...

2005-05-31T19:49:00.000+08:00

Just want to share an old song that had brought me much strength and comfort when I faced difficult and trying moments in the past. May the Lord also meet with you through the lyrics of this hymn. Click HERE if you want to hear the song (instrumental).

Day by Day

Day by day, and with each passing moment,
Strength I find, to meet my trials here;
Trusting in my Father’s wise bestowment,
I’ve no cause for worry or for fear.
He Whose heart is kind beyond all measure
Gives unto each day what He deems best—
Lovingly, its part of pain and pleasure,
Mingling toil with peace and rest.

Every day, the Lord Himself is near me
With a special mercy for each hour;
All my cares He fain would bear, and cheer me,
He Whose Name is Counselor and Pow’r.
The protection of His child and treasure
Is a charge that on Himself He laid;
“As thy days, thy strength shall be in measure,”
This the pledge to me He made.

Help me then in every tribulation
So to trust Thy promises, O Lord,
That I lose not faith’s sweet consolation
Offered me within Thy holy Word.
Help me, Lord, when toil and trouble meeting,
E’er to take, as from a father’s hand,
One by one, the days, the moments fleeting,
Till I reach the promised land.

career and vocation..

2005-05-30T20:25:00.000+08:00

As I reflect on these years of teaching and consider future plans when all this clears, I'm reminded of the subtle difference between "career" and "vocation".

The word "vocation" comes from the Latin root word vocare which means "to call". A vocation can lead to a particular career but the the converse isn't true.

In Henri Nouwen's book titled, "Compassion", he urges us to distinguish carefully between vocation and career. Here are some exerpts from the book.

"In a world that puts such emphasis on success, our concern for a career constantly tends to make us deaf to our vocation. When we are seduced into believing that our career is what counts, we can no longer hear the voice that calls us together; we become so preoccupied with our own plans, projects, or promotions that we push everyone away who prevents us from achieving our goals."

"As soon as we think that are careers are our vocation, we are in danger of returning to the ordinary and proper places governed by human competition and of using our talents more to separate ourselves from others than to unite ourselves with them in a common life."

"A career disconnected from a vocation divides; a career that expresses obedience to our vocation is the concrete way of making our unique talents available to the community. Therefore, it is not our careers, but our vocation, that should guide our lives."

So what is God's vocation for me...and for you?

holding on even when we do not yet see...

2005-05-28T09:15:00.000+08:00

Some four weeks have passed since the start of all this and I'm still waiting to provide my statement to the authorities. It may seem to me as there's no progress but I'm sure it's just because I have yet to perceive what God is doing "behind the scenes". When a seed is planted below the surface of the ground, no one sees the process of germination and growth until we see the sapling emerge from the soil. Some things just take time, patience...and FAITH. It's my prayer that we also realize that God often causes us to grow within though we may not perceive it at first.

The school vacation has begun. Please pray for my students (all Sec 3s) that they will spend their time and energies meaningfully. The school swimmers are gearing up for the School Nationals in a month's time and require both good health and focus to do well. Some of the waterpolo team members are disappointed that there won't be the usual team camp. Please pray that they'll understand why the school has decided not to have one this time round and know that they can build the team through other means. Do pray especially for the teacher i/cs and the coaches that they may have the strength and wisdom to develop and lead the teams. Pray also for my parents as this long process may be more draining on them than on myself.

future plans...

2005-05-25T09:30:00.000+08:00

If any of you have any thoughts about what I should do after my name is cleared, do drop me a comment below or send me an email. It'll help me as I consider God's plan for me in the future. It'll be good if you could also give me your rationale or reasons why you think that's what I should do. Thanks.

the time will come...

2005-05-22T20:15:00.000+08:00

I know that I've been putting aside some of the questions that many of you want or tried to ask me. You want to know how all this will change me and my life perspectives, and also my plans after I clear my name. Well, it's quite difficult for me to say at this point in time. When I have everything behind me and I can reflect in retrospect, then I think I'll be in a stronger position to make some crucial decisions.

However, to my students and colleagues who have been saying that you're waiting for me to return once everything clears, I have this much to say. I could be quite a different person after all this, as I would have had some lessons learned through these experiences. Perhaps I need to seek the Lord afresh for His calling for me. If I were to return, how would the few of my accusers feel especially if they still hold on to their perception of me? Don't get me wrong here. I think I can handle what they might think of me but I don't think it'll be good for them to have me around in school if they still feel the same way about me. The "bad vibes" between us may adversely impact the team and the classes I teach. What I'm saying here is that it's not a sure thing that I'll be back to teach once my name is cleared. The decisions may also not be mine as others do have a say on whether I return to my teaching position.

Please pray as I continually seek the Lord's purposes in all this and His will for my life.

purpose...

2005-05-21T08:35:00.000+08:00

As I seek after God in the midst of this trial, I find myself asking Him, "What is Your purpose for all this?". Humanly, I find it hard to conceive that there will be more good than bad that is coming out of all this. People are getting hurt and adversely affected by all this. Ultimate good for all seems impossible. But this where I guess human reasoning ends and Faith begins. You're the God of the impossible and unimaginable. Your will and your ways are higher and often beyond our full comprehension. I will have to walk this journey with eyes of faith, rather than by what I can perceive or comprehend. Even if I fall because of my weak faith, I know that you'll not let me fall so deep that I can't rise up and continue forward. I will put my hand in Yours and let You guide me through this dark valley. Your truth, like a lamp to my feet will assure me as it lights the way. Thank You Lord for being who You are! I will trust You and trust in Your purposes.

I still believe...

2005-05-19T17:43:00.000+08:00

Just received a letter and a CD compilation of songs from a former student in Australia. Thank you for making time to choose songs that you thought may minister to me at this time. So many beautiful songs with wonderful lyrics. Allow me to share just one...it was raining as I played this song for the first time...

I Still Believe (by Jeremy Camp)

Scattered words and empty thoughts
Seem to pour from my heart
I've never felt so torn before
Seems i dont know where to start
But its now i feel your grace fall like rain
From every fingertip washing away my pain

I still believe in your faithfulness
I still believe in your truth
I still believe in your holy word
Even when I dont see
I still believe

Though the questions still fog up my mind
With promises i still seem to bear
Even when answers slowly unwind
It's my heart I see you prepare
But its now that I feel your grace fall like rain
From every fingertip washing away my pain

The only place I can go is into your arms
Where I throw to you my feeble prayers in brokeness
I can see that this is your will for me
Help me to know you are near

the same yesterday, today and tomorrow

2005-05-19T10:31:00.000+08:00

Is God wonderful only when things go well for us and we get whatever we desire? Is He good on some days and not so good at other times, like when He is upset or displeased? God is God, all the time! He is never changing, ever the same. I feel comforted in this knowledge that our awesome God is unlike us who are prone to change and vacillations, depending on our environment and on our state of mind. May we see more of God, and less of ourselves and our anxieties.

hope...

2005-05-18T11:56:00.000+08:00

The wait is long and can be so frustrating. Sometimes I do feel tired and feel like giving up. "Do what you will to me and I'll just accept it." I've wrestled and struggled with God and with myself. I have found my HOPE lies in God and God alone. Accordingly to John Maxwell, he says that Hope is "Holding On, Praying Expectantly". The waiting is draining me but I want to draw new strength from Him each day. The waiting distracts me but I do want to focus my vision on Him. Thank you all for hoping and for standing in the gap for me. Despite all that is around, let's hold on and pray in anticipation.

Romans 8
v18
For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed to us.
v24-25
For we were saved in this hope but hope that is seen is not hope; for why does one still hope for what he sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, we eagerly wait for it with perseverance.
v28
And we know that all things work together for the good of those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.
v31
What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?
v37-39
Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor power, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

please pray with me...

2005-05-17T21:19:00.000+08:00

The training for the team resumed today. My heart's burdened with how things will be in the team from now on. Please pray for the coaches and teachers-in-charge as they have to carry the heavy burden. Help them to be sensitive to the needs of students and how this episode is affecting them. Let this issue not divide and break the team. Pray for the Sec 1s and parents especially who may be adversely affected by what has happened. I hope people will not drop out because of this crisis situation.

waiting...

2005-05-16T10:39:00.000+08:00

It's been over two weeks since all this began and yet all I can do is wait. Those of you who know me well would know that I'm one who like to forge forward and that this is really a test for me. I also like to be in control of things in my own life and to set the direction for myself. Now, even the next step for me to take is to be dictated by someone else. Please pray that God would grow my patience and help me to cede control of my life to Him. I'm reminded that I've just got to "trust and obey because there's no other way to be happy in Jesus".

Pray for the students I teach as I'm away from school and a temporary teacher has to cover my classes. I don't want my absence to affect their learning adversely. Pray for the waterpolo team, the other teachers-in-charge and the coaches as training resumes tomorrow.

the final Judge

2005-05-13T11:07:00.000+08:00

I'm truly touched by all current and former students (and parents) who have expressed their concern and support following the media release. Heartfelt thanks to each one of you who have sent me messages of encouragement, comfort and hope. You've made the load easier to bear. I'm also grateful to those who have spoken to the media in my defense. However, I don't believe in a trial by media and public opinion but would rather want to trust in the system of law and justice.

My friends, I know that you all care for me and want to stand up for me, but don't get too upset and return evil with evil. Only goodness and love can right the wrong. Only thus will God be glorified through all this. Everyone is entitled to their perspectives based on what they hear, know or perceive at the moment. Join me in believing that the truth will prevail and not let the evil one have a hold on us.

Let us remember that God will be the final Judge of us all.

Not alone against the world..

2005-05-12T09:03:00.000+08:00

Thanks to all who have sent me their words of affirmation and encouragement. Feelings of bitterness, loneliness and vulnerability assails me at such a time, but each word spoken and each prayer uttered by all of you, have filled my heart with love and strength. I will be strong for there are those of you who choose to stand with me.

Please pray for me and my family as we face the onslaught of public opinion from today. In the midst of the storm, pray that we'll find the quiet and safe place where we can find rest and strength for the journey ahead.

Info:
I've been informed by the principal that the BOG has placed me on leave pending investigations and that I've not been suspended from my post.

torn yet thankful...

2005-05-08T09:52:00.000+08:00

Ive tried to put aside the "why" questions because I knew I won't have all the answers right now. It's also painful to think of the possiblilities for the seeming hatred I'm receiving from those I cared so much for. I just want to focus on clearing my name. But I'm told I need to think about some of the "whys" as this may help unravel some reasons why all this has happened. I don't want to think about the possibility of people having their hidden or malicious intentions, especially when they are people I trusted and cared for. But to clear my name, I'm told it's something I have to do...sigh...

I'm thankful and encouraged by the few who turned up to meet me because they cared. They didn't have to but wanted to see what they could do to help me and to help serve the truth. Your willingness to come forward and meet with me has given much strength when my heart was torn.

I wake up this morning to recieve an email from a former student. You must have found out what was happening from a common friend. I'm so surprised to hear from you but you wouldn't know how timely it came. Your kind words of thanks and appreciation for the little I had done for you in the past had brought sudden tears to my eyes. You understood why I would go the distance with you or any student, and didn't think ill of my intentions.

I had been avoiding the thought of how this episode would change me and impact my life. At the back of my mind are the words of well-meaning family and friends who have told me to think more about myself. "Is your giving worth the pain right now?" "You have to draw your lines clearly" "People don't always appreciate and think well of your kindness" Your simple email, ending with "your student, your friend" has made me feel less of a fool in all this. Thank you, friend.

Between hate and love...

2005-05-06T11:23:00.000+08:00

The 1st time in my life I feel so loved and yet so hated, both at the same time. Hated perhaps by those who are accusing me and so loved by the ones who believe in my innocence and who are standing with me at my time of crisis. I feel torn between love and hate at the present moment.

I'm told by many to sue my accusers once my name is cleared. It's not just for yourself but for those who may yet be wrongly and easily accused in the future, I'm told. But that's not the kind of closure and resolution I desire. I'm still hoping that wrong percerptions can be corrected and the misunderstandings cleared. If I truly cared for my students and their families, how can I not wish for healing and reconcilation as a conclusion for this nightmare. I'm told I should pursue the case and work for reconcilation afterwards...that I should think only of myself right now.
Even until right now, I do feel that there may not be malice in at least some of my accusers, especially in the boys. The situation may just have been triggered by a parent who had a distorted perspective of things. and it probably just slowly got a life of its own. The students may not have meant me any harm. I trust them alot and felt that they trusted me too. They had expressed it in many ways in the past, both by their words and their actions.

Lord, even as I strive to clear my name, please don't allow further hurt to come upon those who have already been affected by all that has happened. The young, especially, often do not know what they are doing.

Ain't No Dream...

2005-05-04T17:29:00.000+08:00

It almost feels like I'm in a dream that I don't belong to. It's just like I'm looking at myself from the outside...it's so unreal...If it's a dream, how I wish I can wake myself immediately. Lord, no matter what, I pray that You will never leave me nor forsake me. Though I have the support of so many true friends in the midst of vile attacks from the outside, I feel I only have You to turn to. Lord, I believe. Please help my unbelief. Transform me and renew my mind again so that I may see Your good and perfect plan, even though I live in this fallen world.

The pain I cannot bear...

2005-05-02T07:28:00.000+08:00

My own pain I can bear, but the pain that has to be borne by those who love me, that eats me at the core. Lord, please grant peace and strength to those I love and care for. Help my parents especially, to look beyond the pain and injustice, and to see Your glory and grace instead.

Pain like I never felt before...

2005-05-01T23:23:00.000+08:00

To love and not to be loved back is disheartening. But to love and be returned with bitterness is painful beyound measure.